1/14/2005 01:12:56 PM|||Joel VandenBrink|||

Well it has been over a month since I have blogged last, its hard to believe but at the same time a ton has happened in the last month, but instead of going into that (because it would take forever to type) I am going to continue hiking forward into the mess that is life.

The community that I am involved is recently decided to plant a home church and see what happens. I say recently, because it was only recently that we got the guts to listen to the Spirit's voice -- even though she had been whispering in our ears for quite some time. This SUnday (two days from now) is our first meeting. I'm scared and excited. I'm scared for my wife and I'm scared for our relationship (being scared isn't a bad thing, but it isn't necessarily a good thing). Brooke and I have had lengthy conversations about what a church could look like and they all seem to circle back to what a community would look like. We both long desperately to have a church community (is the adjective church really needed?) but we both know that a community that loves each other through celebration, tears, mourning, bloodshed, fights, and pain isn't what we have right now. Now don't get me wrong, I don't say that last sentence to say I don't like the community I'm involved in, in fact, I can't imagine my life without them. But I'm never satisfied, this side of Eden I think it is impossible to be satisfied with community. We try desperately, and sometimes even succeed, but in the midst of it we still 'miss' each other, we still piss each other off, we still murder and lust after each other. I want more, but I don't know if I know what more looks like. The deeper i fall in love with those I journey with the deeper I fall in love with God. What a great opportunity God has given us -- to love each other because he first loved us. Amen.

shalom,
joel

|||110573837684051443|||Zen and Love