Boulders and the Spirit

“…we must ask. And we will sometimes struggle to hear and struggle with what we hear. But personally, it’s worth it. I’m after the path of life – and he alone knows it.”
- John Eldredge Waking the Dead

"Go out and stand before me on the mountain," the LORD told him. And as Elijah stood there, the LORD passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper.”
-1 Kings 19:11-12

It was an abnormally warm Thursday morning. I woke up at my standard time and was welcomed to the world by sunshine and birds chirping. Brooke had left for work so I had our condo to myself, along with our ‘postmodern’ dog.

Thursdays are my day off, that is, my day off from going to Mars Hill Graduate School, either as a student or as a worker. Thursdays are, in a sense, sacred. I usually read in the morning and write in the afternoon. Thursdays are productive, because they have to be. It is my largest chunk of time in the week to ‘do things that need to be done.’

My day had just gotten going, I sat down with my granola and the newspaper and starting thinking through my day. I thought about how I had to read some Trinity books and how I had to rewrite a paper. It was then that I got a thought, or did I hear something. The thought went something like this, “Joel, get to the woods.” I ignored it through a series of explanations as to why I couldn’t, why I didn’t have time. Then, a little bit louder I heard, “Joel, get to the woods.” It was at this juncture that I knew it wasn’t from me, it wasn’t just something I wanted to do, instead, it was something I needed to do. I responded with a simple, “Why?” Silence. Nothing but silence.

-A story from my Journey

We all have them. We all have special places. Places where we think the clearest, places where we have incredible memories, or places where we can just be ourselves. The woods is one of these places for me. The smells, the noises, the breeze, and sometimes the solitude. As the author of 1 Kings teaches us, God is in the solitude, his Spirit resides there and his Spirit will take us there.

But why would the Spirit want to take me to the woods? And why would the Spirit tell me to go, but then not answer when I asked why? Does the Spirit know me, personally, or is the Spirit just God’s way of communicating his truths to me?

I grabbed my silver bullet (filled with chai tea), my pipe, and my Bible and hopped on my motorcycle. I had no idea where I was going to go, no one exact place seemed to be calling me more than any other. But one road seemed to be calling me – so I went. Thirty-five miles up I-5 and then twenty miles east is a road called ‘The Mountain Loop Highway.’ This was my destination. This road winds along the South Fork of the Stilaguamish River. I have been on this road many times, but I always depart it for a dirt road to find a hike. I couldn’t do that this time though, I didn’t have my hiking gear or enough water. So I decided to ride until I certain spot seemed to call me. I was just starting to accelerate out of an S-curve when I looked over at the river. Right in the middle of the river was a large boulder – the type that makes we wonder how it got there because it doesn’t seem like any amount of force could move it.

This was it, this was the spot I was supposed to be at. I smiled and started to brake. Now, my motorcycle is a street bike, a naked crotch rocket, so dirt is not it’s forte. But in this moment, on this day, I didn’t seem to care. I weaved my way down to the river valley through a series of footpaths and parked my motorcycle on the shore parallel with the rock. I took off my socks and shoes and walked out to the boulder.
And sat.

Jesus went to the woods, except in his culture and his geography it wasn’t called the woods, it was called the desert. In fact, “Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert” (Matt. 4:1). It was here that Jesus was tempted by Satan – but before the temptation came forty days of fasting and forty days of wandering. Why the desert? And why for so long?

Henri Nouwen in his book The Way of the Heart says, “Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims to our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self.” The Spirit speaks in the solitude, the Spirit refreshes in the solitude, the Spirit searches our souls in the solitude.

Think about the average American’s day. It is 8-10 hours of work, at least an hour of commute time and three hours of television at night. Is there silence anywhere in this? If God is in the ‘gentle whisper’ then isn’t it possible that we can drown him out with other noises? It doesn’t take much to cover a whisper – a radio or a television work just fine. Sometimes it doesn’t even need to be noise that covers the whisper, sometimes it could be as simple as an argument, or a task that needs to be performed. In the desert there are few distractions. There is nothing to do but survive and listen.

This is why the Spirit calls us to the desert.

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who had headphones on? What was it like? In order to communicate with them you need to yell – that is, until they take the headphones off. Being called to the desert is like taking the headphones off.

There I was, sitting on a random boulder in a random spot. No one in the world knew I was there. I listened to the rushing water flowing on every side of me. I examined the rocks around me and tried to picture where each one came from. I lit up my pipe and started to relax.

5 minutes passed…
10 minutes passed…
15 minutes passed…

My body started to feel differently, my thoughts started to become clearer, and a new appreciation of where my life was at started to settle in my soul. I heard a noise and looked up – it was a bird, a large bird, it circled above me like a hawk and then flew away.

Three hours later I was still sitting there when the voice, the same voice that I had heard in the morning returned. This time it said, “You need to come here more often – your soul needs it.” I nodded in agreement and walked back to my motorcycle.

The Spirit of God knows a person -- personally. Migliore writes, “The Spirit is the power that teaches us what is the mind of Christ, pours the love of God into our hearts…and motivates and equips us for discipleship and service.” In the postmodern context the actions of the Spirit are understood as more than a truth revealer and more than a Bible quoter. In addition to these the Spirit calls the believer to live a healthy life, both emotionally and physically. The Spirit cares for that which is its temple.

The Jewish Shema starts with, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” (Deut. 6:5). Wouldn’t it make sense then, that the Spirit would care for all of these aspects of our life? If we are to love God with our heart, soul, and strength then we need to be in relationship with him in all three of these – otherwise love isn’t capable of existing. The Spirit facilitates this process. If we choose to listen, then the Spirit will guide us into relationship with him.

On this particular sunny Thursday morning I chose to listen. I choose to react to the voice of the Spirit. This is rare. This doesn’t happen near enough, and when I choose to ignore it something tells me that I am ignoring it. My body, or those I am in relationship with usually let me know that I’m ignoring the Spirit. They may not say it directly, but their words and their actions let me know that either my heart, soul, or strength is out of step with the Spirit’s voice. This is when I have to step back and remove the headphones or get to the woods. This is why the Spirit was telling me that I need to get to the woods more often. He knew I was ignoring him for so long, and he knew what I needed to hear in order to care for myself. After all, I’m “after the path of life – and only he knows it.”