today I was listening to NPR and there was an individual on “The Conversation” that was talking about the reality of blogs and the reality of unedited news and the authorship of all people. This particular individual wasn’t too keen on the idea of blogs and the way they are shaping how we connect and how we view relationship to one another. I strangely found myself agreeing with this individual as he talked about how suddenly people think that we, the reader, care what you ate for breakfast, and what you are doing today. His argument was that it wasn’t truly connection, instead it is similar to voyeurism in that we feel connected because we know data, or have certain information about someone, and yet we can go for days without actually seeing the person or using our vocal cords to talk to the person.

For me this has always been the catch22 of a blog. I want people to know what is going on in my life and yet what is ‘important’ enough to broadcast internationally. for a while i thought that the more surface info i gave the more people would feel connected to me and me to them. so i put on my blog, pictures, books i was reading, songs i was listening to, and other blogs i read. and most of these are still on my site — simply because i haven’t had time or the desire to edit the PHP to get them out of there. but what i found, was that in posting this stuff people would randomly say to me, “hey i saw on your blog that you are reading….” and granted, i liked this, or should i say, my ego liked this, because i felt important — and so over time my blog became self serving, a digital form of narcissism. these comments became my idol, something i sought after . but soon, i realized this and became disgusted with how my blog was being used — so i stopped blogging. i retreated into digital silence, and therefore to some people i disappeared C-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y. It was like i never existed in their life because the pixels of connection no longer existed. WEIRD — ehh? so what is better, voyeurism of life and narcissism, or ceasing to exist?

as a friend of mine would say, “that is quite a conundrum”

peace
joel